Scientists and Meteorologists Explain the Extended Northeast Winter

If you have noticed this year, especially in the Northeastern part of the U.S., the chilled climate of the Winter continues to ensue beyond it’s respectful boundaries. We are already weeks into Spring and yet the temperature has not yet reached 50 degrees Fahrenheit. The sun is out and days are getting longer, but the temperature is remaining between 30 and 40 degrees respectfully.

It is already April and we had snow as recent as Saturday March 28, 2015.

“Mother Nature is being a b**ch!” Climate Pattern Scientist of Cambridge University Dr. John Watson tweeted.

Although, it seems odd for a scientist to say that, Watson isn’t far from the truth. Meteorologists from around the world have discovered that the global wind currents have been excruciatingly different this year, with normal statistics being off the charts and unbalanced. This can account for the heavy drought on the west coast of the United States.

A bystander in New York City commented while shivering under his coat. “When will it f**king be Spring?” he said adding, “Get your sh** together Mother Nature, I want to wear my crocks and jean shorts again.”

The reporters weren’t allowed to quote on him any further due to the consist use of vile cursing.

Meteorologist Lucille Bluth on the Weather Channel concluded that the unbalancing weather patterns are due to “Mother Nature entering menopause.”

Bluth continued her weather report adding, “The patterns that outline throughout the globe clearly indicate that Gaia is having some female problems. Normally at this time of year the earth shifts its axis, making it so the Northern Hemisphere leans closer towards the sun. But due to so many of her periods, she has now gone into full global menopause. We will most likely be seeing more of her pissy attitude. At this rate, it could be snowing in the Equator or raining in Antarctica.”

Throughout the history of the planet’s cycle, scientists have concluded that all of the ‘Ice Ages” were formed during Mother Nature’s periods.

“It would make sense why her hormones would have such a huge impact on us. She is the birth giver of all things in nature. Her natural stasis is to be the whore of the planet,” Scientist James McGill hypothesized.

With off putting cold temperatures on the rise and warm weather sprouting in other areas of the world, it is possible there will be more snow to come in the Tri-State area.

Check out this recent breaking news report where Meteorologist Frank Reynolds expects the Northeast to be having a blizzard of up to 2 feet of snow on Easter.

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